Ankle hair, the bloody cockroach of body hair. nothing kills it. I am bald, shinily bald. I get confused in the shower these days, shower gel covers all needs and once I’m washed, well, that’s it. Shampoo is not needed, armpits are as smooth as..my head, legs also smooth..no..no..wait. Oh, you are taking the piss now. Stubbly ankles! My body has been flushed with stuff that kills everything (hopefully) and yet ankle hair survives. Sitting there, gloating. Being all thick and stubbly. If I go out without a hat I’m fairly sure I can still wear cropped jeans, no-one will notice my ankles…they’ll all be blinded by my shiny head.
No, no, can’t do it. Long jeans required. I mean I can’t go about with hairy ankles on display, I don’t care about my head.
Should not have binned my razor. But, it’s Sunday, and everywhere is closed apart from the off-license in the village. I’m pretty sure he sells Bic razors. I’ll have to buy wine too, as I have no cash and you can’t swipe your card for less than £10. I’m honestly trying to look upset about that.