Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

It’s been a while, have you got fed up and buggered off? I wouldn’t blame or judge you if you have. I couldn’t even remember what the last post was about, had to read it again, that’ll cause a burst of excitement from Facebook, they’ll be messaging me and advising me to ‘boost’ my post for a mere $20 and millions of people will flock to read PLaU. I did that once, and got a lot of people who seemed to want to be unicorns, I suspect they were very disappointed.

I’ve been quiet because I’ve been busy, and then I’ve been tired, and also because our pc is poorly. I have no idea what the diagnosis is (I was told but when he talks computer my brain goes lalalalalalala) but one symptom seems to be the keyboard is now dyslexic. It adds 150 extra characters in, it leaves the same number out. It’s bloody annoying. Pat gets cross with me when I get shouty with the pc, so it was easier just to play Pandapop.

I’ve waved goodbye to my oncologist for a few months, she is lovely but the less I see of her the better things are. She wrote me prescription for 10 years supply of Tamoxifen, that made the pharmacy gasp. We agreed on a monthly dispensing, that worked well since I hadn’t brought a truck and they didn’t have that many pills.

I cheerfully said goodbye to the nurse who came up with nuggets of wisdom about not sleeping under a duvet, or sticking one foot out from under the covers, if I’m too hot in bed. That made me laugh out loud, because my mind just works that way. She just gave me an odd look and put my reaction down to the onset of menopause I think. I think that because she then told me all the wonderful menopausal shite I have to look forward to. It was a good 20 minutes of gloom. I’m going to try really hard to not have any of the symptoms just to annoy her. I don’t think I will ever understand some people’s enthusiasm (there really is no other way to describe it) at setting out every damned thing that might go badly. It’s fucking annoying is what it is.

Fired up with a determination to prove her wrong on every count, and a load of things she didn’t even mention,  I stormed through the last chemo hangover. If it’s possible to storm from under a blanket on the sofa. Then I went on a hen weekend.

This hen weekend had been my total focus of getting through chemo on schedule. I wanted it DONE, not halfway through or just one more. Done. I’ve been drinking juice made from vegetables only pigs have eaten prior to the last couple of years. Turns out we’ve been feeding pigs superfoods all this time. I can’t back that up, but did you see kale on any menu before 2015? I’ve been taking tablets open water swimmers use to stop them catching bugs.  (There is nothing in this world that would convince me to swim in the Thames now). Something worked, and I made to Lu’s Do having finished chemo.

It was FAB. We’d booked this Grand Designs type house, and some bits of that were a bit confusing (who the fuck invented a kettle that looks like a frigging tap?- I owe them blistered fingers), but the company was brilliant. We laughed, we danced, we drank….. lots. There was an olympic sized hot tub, if hot-tubbing was an Olympic event. I couldn’t go in as I’m not allowed in hot tubs. might have made that up as I really don’t like hot tubs, but it was reasonable excuse. Sorry you lot, I lied. But, if we do it all again next year I’m still not getting in. It felt so good to be out and partying again. Like life is getting back on track. That was Friday  night, Saturday night I had to go to bed early, turns out I’m not quite at full party fitness yet. No-one tell that nurse, ok?

I all my excitement at getting back to normal my lack of eyebrows was really pissing me off. You can wear a hat if being bald worries you but there’s not much you can do about your brows. I’m not much of a make up person, if I’d thought about it I’d have been pencilling them in long before they’d gone just so I knew where I was aiming at. Hindsight is always 20/20. Also, I don’t want to pencil anything in. I already have to remember to add a boob and hair/hat. Quite frankly I can’t be bloody arsed to have to add more bits before leaving the house. I just want everything where it ought to be, with minimal effort from me. If that sounds petulant, fine. I’m petulant.

Microblading! Move over garlic bread, microblading is the future. Thanks to Dawn at Sunrise in Marlow I have my brows back. They don’t look like fuzzy felt, I don’t have to pencil them in, they’re just there. Right where they ought to be, breaking up the dinner plate look I was not rocking before. (large white face, no definition). If you are having brow woes, you know what to do. Turns out I don’t need to wear anything on my head now, well I do on days like today when it was peeing down, as much of my self confidence returned with my brows, weird huh?  Don’t worry about the wig being neglected, she’s living the banana stand and is quite happy there. Now I just have to get to grips with gluing on some eyelashes…after a hen do comes the wedding…and there’s always some fucker with a camera.

I can’t type any more or I’ll throw this sodding keyboard at the screen, and that will really annoy Pat.



4 Replies to “Hello? Hello? Anyone there?”

  1. You are looking so good, Teeniebop. Very impressed with microblading, Try not to launch the pooter, Pat will manage to fix it, sometime. See you soon. Lots of love and hugs. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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